By Kerry Frank
July 29, 2025
About a month ago, I got a phone call that stopped me in my tracks.
It was from a former employee of mine, someone I had poured into, struggled with, and at times wasn’t sure I could keep on the team. She started the conversation with:
“First, I need to apologize for my behavior and thank you for not giving up on me.”
That sentence alone was enough to bring tears to my eyes. But what followed was even more powerful.
She went on to explain that for years, she thought she was a great leader, and that I just couldn’t see all the hard work she was doing. She was often defensive in our conversations, overly emotional, and constantly analyzing every email or text I sent. If I didn’t include pleasantries or smiley faces, she wondered if I was mad at her.
I’d tell her, “I’ll let you know if I’m mad. Right now, I just need you to know the delivery didn’t arrive.”
It wasn’t personal. It was business. But for her, every message felt like a personal attack.
And because she was so caught up in how things felt, she couldn’t focus on what needed to get done. That’s what I call paralysis by analysis. You become so consumed by overthinking that you paralyze your own growth.
She wasn’t ineffective because she lacked talent. She was ineffective because she couldn’t get out of her own head.
Now, years later, she’s in management herself, and guess what? She’s leading someone just like her.
That’s what sparked the call. She said, “Now I understand. I have an employee who can’t handle feedback. And I’m asking myself: How do I know when it’s time to let them go… or when I need to keep investing?”
Here’s what I told her:
“There were days when I didn’t know if I could keep you. I’d set a time limit for improvement, mentally telling myself if I didn’t see growth by a certain point, we’d need to have a serious talk. But just when I was about to give up, you’d show one small sign of growth. That’s what kept me going. You were evolving. That was enough.”
And it was. Because today, she’s not just thriving in her career, she’s flourishing in life. She’s self-aware, resilient, and finally leading others from a place of strength.
So let me ask you today:
What is toxic in your life?
Is it a job? A boss? A relationship? A mindset?
If it’s sucking the life out of you, it’s toxic. And toxicity doesn’t stay in one place. It spills into everything.
Start making a change today. Even a small one. Because when you finally create space to breathe, you’ll find room to grow.
And for those of you in leadership…
Are you a good leader?
Not just in how you coach others, but in how you reflect, grow, and take ownership of your influence.
Sometimes leadership means letting go.
Sometimes it means holding on a little longer.
And sometimes, it means being the person who sees what someone could be before they can see it themselves.
~Kerry
Think positively and masterfully, with confidence and faith, and life become more secure, more fraught with action, richer in experience and achievement.
Eddie Rickenbacker
I’d love to hear from you. Have you ever struggled with overanalyzing feedback or leading someone who did? Let’s talk about it in the comments.
#Leadership #Growth #ToxicCulture #SelfAwareness #WorkplaceWellness #ParalysisByAnalysis #FaithInLeadership #RealTalk